En passant

I went home just to find the cables connecting the system unit with other hardware all unplugged. Got me exasperated. Bro, what the hell were you doing with those cables? .__.

And oh, talking about a guy I've just befriended. We are classmates and only got the chance to formally introduce ourselves to each other after school's dismissal yesterday. He gave me an impression that he is a quiet guy, rather reticent. Am I imagining things to think that he looked so tensed during lessons?

I had quite some fun passing the time with some friends when the teacher wasn't around, yet. It so happened that three of us were selected and had attended the National Service. Except that we were placed in different camps, in the different corners of Malaysia. We shared our experience, told our tales about the happenings throughout the 3-months National Service. En passant, speaking of the shooting activity in the camp, I kind of regretted that I didn't take a photo of me posing with the M16 rifle. *wannalookcool

God is watching over you, He hears you. =)

Composed

1) Today had definitely proven my distress and worries superfluous. My classmates were nothing short of cordial. And I reckon, I was being convivial if not hyperactive. I was glad I didn't look all lost and alone already.

2) The most difficult part of Malaysian University English Test (MUET) is the speaking test they said. And I could not beg to differ. During our MUET lesson just today, we were exposed to this particular speaking test. I'm not so sure that I can do very well for this test because I'd never put conversing in English into practice even in St Mary. But I hope that with the training from our teacher, Puan Geraldine, I'll be well prepared before the real test in July 2013. Yeah, we are so many months away, which is sort of good.

3) Latterly, I've been engaging myself in painting wall mural in school. Um, for the sake of some co-curricular activities points to ensure my bright future for university admission (smirking, hehe). And it's never boring to play with colours! =P

4) Mom always wanted me to walk a short distance from school to somewhere near the 99 Speedmart and she'd pick me up there. You know, to avoid the busy traffic near the school where myriad cars are so obstructed that they could scarcely move. Today after school dismissal, I could barely catch any sight of her car. After waiting for a long while, I decided I should just head home on my feet. Walking home from SMK Kepong Baru is not cool at all. It's 5km or one hour under the scorching sun. All I got in the end was being severely tongue-lashed 'cause I made her wait for almost an hour there. What luck. I must have been visually impaired or she reached there right after I was gone.

The way she reverts to the normal, good her after mentally thrashing me is driving me up the wall. Then, another displeased look. Ahhhh......

Today was a pleasant day, anyway. =)

Dream

I like Christine Grimmie's emotion so so much.

Feel so fucked up right now. 'Cause mom's constantly feeding me with sarcasm. She has never stopped trying, you know. Then, she always turns around and acts like nothing's ever happened. And throw me another displeased look. What the......

I must convince myself I was only having a dream.

Now I am thinking one is better than two.

I'm a Worrywart

I've been such a worrywart and I'm sorry I'm still one. Sometimes I feel like I'm annoying you. Sometimes I think you're mad at me. Sometimes I think I'm worth nothing. Sometimes I think I've made the most colossal mistake in the world. What can I do to make myself see there's no need for insecurities? I. have. no. idea.

I used to think the people who post a thousand or a million statuses fueled with negativity and pessimism on Facebook should get a life. Now I think I know what they feel. They yearn for recognition. Partly to console their insecure selves. Or simply attention seeking.

You made a decision that you wanted to move on, 'cause I was wrong.

Practice

A friend of mine told me she wants to make it a point to chat with at least 2 people on Facebook a day to ensure her Facebook is not only filled with once-good-friends-now-strangers. That sounds like a pretty good practice. And I've been dropping out of good practice. I used to make sure that I google every single new words that I came across whenever I was on the internet, whether I was simply chatting with a friend or reading an article. At that time, this practice made my vocabulary a little less handicapped than my peers. Then, slowly, my laziness caught me. I tended to just skip the words I didn't quite comprehend and the practice faded. Now I want to make it a point to pick up this practice of mine again. =)

你就吃啊？

你是怎么了？觉得吃多些可以弥补心中的空虚吗？别吃那么多了，不健康。你会变得很胖很胖。然后挑衣服时会挑得比现在生气。=P

Infatuation with Sam Tsui

So this is it. Two days before the two-week school holiday, I officially launched my first step into SMK Kepong Baru as a sixth former (or a STPM, pre-university program student, if that sounds better) after weeks of painstaking (or not so) experience in SMK Raja Abdullah, mostly because of their below-standard facilities. To think about smelly toilets with a sign that says "Berhati-hati, siling mungkin akan jatuh. (Beware, the ceiling might fall.)" and the frequent absents of teachers. But the people there were amiable enough. No friends means no survival. How can you survive even a day in school having no one to talk to? So I made sure I made at least a few friends if not acquaintances at SMKRA, a school I've left but will surely miss (I mean the people =P).

The very recent days were such pain. I spent the first week of my holiday, wandering in Facebook, scrolling and stalking until my head went all woozy and um, hanging out with friends, kind of like a mini reunion with the new friends I've just made at SMKRA. Then, there came the second week, which I decided to spend with minimum time wastage and maximum productivity. That apparently failed in every way for a procrastinator like me.

For that few days ago, my daily routine was to
1) wake up at 11am (when the time came, my body just ticked then voila, I was awakened by what I didn't know, the natural body alarm I reckon)
2) brush my teeth, wash my face, tie my hair up into a high ponytail to vanish the afro hair look... haha
3) sign in to Facebook, check the updates while having my brunch
4) start with my homework, leaving the Facebook signed in. Yeah I said "leaving", I was actually sitting right in front of the computer, checking with my notification every 5 minutes despite the possibility of getting fatal disease due to constant exposure to the radiation from the computer my mom said.

Then, the sudden realization of how boring these things are, to be repeated every single day.
Then, the sudden realization that I need a friend, to talk to.
Then, the sudden realization that they are so busy with their own hectic college or university life.
Then, the sudden realization that I look like that forever alone meme... Ah, dang.

While I was at SMKRA making friends, wasting time, the teachers in SMKKB didn't seem to take any rest at all. They were way ahead of time, like they wanted to finish teaching the syllabus in the shortest time possible. So I was all cracking my head, up the wall, down the dungeon for that few days, only the few days when I was super hardworking, catching up with the other students in SMKKB, since I was one already.

I finally got someone on Facebook to talk to me! He said, it's just a phase. It's only the beginning and beginnings are always harder. And I believed him. I didn't know why I was (and still am) so obsessed with the idea of having a friend who would answer to me whenever I need them. I really shouldn't expect so much, when I'm not doing the same. I think I, too, look all busy with my own thing. If there is a friend like that, it's more like a friend with benefit.

Where am I already? Oh everything will be fine they said. I hope when school reopens, I'm already free from the grasp of those fright, apprehensions, fear, worries or whatever you call it.

When my butts got bored with the same place, same red chair, that was when I stopped my fight. What happened was the obvious: homework undone.

So today was no different! My butts were still bored. My initial plan of only window-shopping were totally disrupted when a pair of simple black jeans caught my eyes. I was happy I bought it only for RM22! Now that was some good price. ^^V

Sam Tsui is awesome. I admire him. =)