Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Questions Without Answers

I didn't act like I care. I didn't show that I hated this world so much because I thought that there is still something called hope. Why are they lying to me, breaking one promise after another? Hope sprouted and died. This has repeated over and over again. I am tired of it. I am so sick of it. It might be nothing to them, but they didn't realize how deep it could hurt. I can't take it anymore. But as I was saying this, the fact that I have to go on cannot be denied. A painful truth it is.

Puan Lim said that friends are not for forever. I totally disagreed with this. But now, it seems that slowly, I have accepted this fact. They didn't know how they have let me down. At the same time, the bible stated that a real friend is closer than a brother. I am confused. Why are they implanting different thoughts into my mind? Why do I feel like I am controlled by this awful world that was once beautiful? I've been shedding tears, crying more often than ever. But nobody knows, they just can't see it. Or they'll say that's because I'm keeping everything inside. And so, everyone thinks they have the point, and they win. They'd be right, I'd be wrong.

If I failed to hide from them when I cry, they would ask why. I didn't want to answer because I know that if I confess to them, they would say I am childish, that I am being upset for trivial matters. They didn't care how it exactly feels. They see things only through their eyes, and never try to see from another angle.

Nothing is real. Liars are everywhere. No one cares. Perhaps leaving is the best solution, but I have not the courage. God took it away. Will you please, with Your wisdom, and tell me that all these will end?

I hate injustice.
I hate fake promises.

Do me a favour. Don't let me hate you.

I miss Michael Jackson. Only he can heal my sorrow even though he's an angel that I've never met.

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